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Hudson's Headspace: I Did it My Weigh!

Member's Blog - Journey of a Weight Loss Resources' member…

Mission Control

March 11, 2016

Last year things were tricky on the home front. Serious illness played a huge part in my day-to-day life. They were matters which were beyond my control which (as a self-confessed “control freak”) were difficult for me to keep a clear head about.

Thankfully, although still very much part of day-to-day life, they are now “under control” but at the start of this year it looked as if my “professional life” my be heading into a state of chaos – and I admit that it frightened me and I did “freak out”.

I somehow managed to stay “on track” when it came to the matter of eating and drinking and, so far this year, I have managed to lose weight for seven weeks and “stay the same” for three weeks.

However, I realised that this was more down to luck than judgement and, if I didn’t start to “properly take control”, all my good work was in danger of becoming undone.

For me, what goes on in my life has a direct correlation with what goes into my mouth. It is a testament to the WLR rules I follow; the good advice I’ve discovered on the site; the wisdom of my fellow members; and the lessons that I seem to have learned that I am now only 18lbs from my goal weight. I know it works. I also know it only works if I stay in control.

It occurred to me that when I am feeling like many aspects of “the real world” are beyond my control, it is utter madness for me to add to that particular list by “losing control” on my weight loss mission. I’ve said before that, for me, what goes on in my head is the most difficult aspect of finding; following; and sticking to a routine that will see my waist “whittled”.

So I am now officially A Woman On A Mission. I am calling it “Mission Control” and I am resolved now that even if every other part of my life does descend into chaos – my quest to shed the remaining 18lbs will not.

My weight loss is something that is always within my control. I cannot ever recall being strapped down and force-fed choc-ices; I do not ever remember a time when copious amounts of alcohol were poured into my mouth by the hand of another (well maybe once on my 18th birthday on holiday in Spain…) and I have no recollection of every being threatened with terrifying consequences if I refused to eat the family-sized bag of tortilla chips that somehow found its way into my kitchen cupboard.

I have learned that, in the face of impending chaos, “comfort eating” serves absolutely no good purpose. Eating a big block of chocolate has no positive impact on the situation at all. In fact, after the aftermath is always negative. I beat myself up about being weak willed and generally dislike myself for having “given in to temptation”. I feel bloated and uncomfortable. It hasn’t changed any of the circumstances (stress; unhappiness; feeling generally fed-up) which I felt I needed “comforted” from… and it takes me one step closer to losing control of this aspect of my life.

I have discovered that one of the best ways for me to fight of the lure of the cheese pasty is to write down why I feel the need to “comfort eat”. The food diary and exercise diary are, for most people, WLR essentials when it comes to “keeping on track” – but I have discovered that the “Daily Diary” is probably the one tool which helps me stay the most focussed.

Part of this is because I love to write. It’s what I do in the “real world” and I find the act of setting down words very relaxing. I know not everyone feels the same way – but sometimes when your thoughts are cluttered, when things seem to be muddled and disorganised, the clarity that seeing something “in black and white” can give is astonishing. Words written at a time of high emotion can be read back later, when the “heat” has gone out of the situation, and can often give an insight into underlying trends or patterns of behaviour. It can reveal “triggers” that you might not even be aware of, and provides a great point of reference if you find a set of circumstances repeating themselves.

So my daily diary is now a big part of “Mission : Control”. As is keeping an honest food diary (it’s easy to get into the habit of “judging by eye” and although I think I’m pretty good at “guesstimating” 25g of butter… I’m probably not nearly as good as I believe I am… (the same goes for custard; ice-cream and a serving of oven chips)! Although I am still struggling to love exercise… I do admit to feeling a huge sense of satisfaction when I have recorded 30 minutes of energetic activity on my “rebounder” (the “70s disco classics” never fail to make me smile and get me into the groove) or when I’ve made it to the end of my step workout – and by logging everything I am making sure I have a clear picture of the route I have taken… which helps me stay in control. By focussing on “Mission : Control” I’m pretty sure I will see the remaining 18lbs (which will get me to goal) will soon “Blast Off”……

Have a great weekend and remember – You Can Do This

With a Hug

H14

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