Friend or Foe
March 6, 2015
I recently spent some time in the company of two people who are considered “friends”. One is someone I have known for very, very, long time; the other is relatively new to my circle. I know both of them because their respective “other halves” were friends of Lovely Husband to begin with.
The friend I have known the longest is currently facing a very challenging time indeed. She is on a daunting and uncertain journey but is facing it with courage dignity grace and wisdom – she leads by example with the first three and is only too willing to share the latter with those in her circle. She is also a fantastic cheerleader when it comes to supporting those in her “tribe” on their own journeys through life.
The second friend is someone who, until a few days ago, have only spent a few hours with on a one-to-one basis. I knew her to a certain extent and enjoyed her company but didn’t really know what “made her tick”.
This week I am grateful for the fact that I have both them in my life because they have really spurred me on in my WLR journey. They have made me focus; made me knuckle down to really committing my full concentration and attention on achieving my goal. Both of them have been a big influence on channelling my energies and making me realise that I really REALLY want to be the slender slimmer person I used to be.
However the reasons for their influence are entirely different.
Friend number one has been fed by an intravenous tube for the last five weeks. Her weight has plummeted and she has, without knowing it, made me properly focus on the how and why of eating. It has become a joke between us that we now use social media to post pictures of foodstuff to help us in our respective quests. She now needs to build up her weight and her medically-based eating plan requires 3000 calories a day of high fat; fast fix food. A well known brand of chocolate and hazelnut spread is at the top of the list and eating an entire jar full at one sitting is, apparently, entirely permissible for her. I, on the other hand, am trying to curb the tendencies which were slowly creeping back following the unsettling and challenging time we’ve recently gone through at Hudson HQ... and friend number one is helping by sending me copies of recipes that are low calorie and low fat but which taste delicious every time she comes across one during her internet hunt for food ideas. Between us we cover the entire spectrum of calories and fat content… but we have a good giggle about it and her support is invaluable and her attitude inspiring.
Friend Number Two has made me utterly determined for an entirely different reason. She had cause to be in my town and called me to see if I could take her shopping (as our town is well known for being a great shopping destination). I agreed…. and spent four of the most miserable hours of my life as a consequence…
I took her to one of my favourite “boutique” shops. It is a wonderful place that sells Italian clothing which is not found in any other shop in the UK. The prices are reasonable and the size range runs from 8 to 20 but not in all the styles. That said, even the 16s and 20s are beautiful clothes which is why it is my “go to” shop of choice even though I am heavier than I would choose to be.
I thought Friend Two would love it. She did…
but what she loved more was the satisfaction she got from pulling a size 8 dress from a rail saying “ooh this would have really suited you if you were thin… and they don’t do it in your size…”.
She then spent the next four hours doing exactly the same in every shop we went into… And at one point even got super smug when she was revealed to be a “size eight and Super Curvy” - telling me that if I ever did make it back to size 8 they had some lovely stuff and “although you’re not super curvy they do them for flat chests too”…
By 4:30pm I was completely fed up of the endless barbs about my size. I told her that I had to go home and feed my 19 year old cat. She insisted on one last shop… and spent a further hour trying on 6 more dresses and eroding my body confidence with her comments and quips. After looking pointedly at my watch she remarked “oh yes.. you’ve got to feed your starving geriatric cat don’t you”. The Final Straw. I gave her instructions on how to get back to the train station and power-walked home. I managed a pretty quick pace between the seething anger and the need to feed said puss-cat.
However once Puss had a full tummy and I had made myself a calming raspberry tea I realised that Friend Two, who had now been renamed as “Foe” had done me a favour.
"Foe" had made me realise just how much I want to be back to my slimmer self. She made me angry with her comments but I was equally angry with myself for not knuckling down and giving my weight loss the absolute attention it deserves.
She was a friend who had become a foe but a foe who had caused me to refocus and refine my thoughts and make me understand what I need to do to get to where I want to be.
Friends can be a wonderful asset on a weight loss journey. They can offer support and encouragement; they can cheerlead and give you a kick up the rear when needed. It turns out that Foes have their uses too.
Have a wonderful weekend.
With a Hug