Drawing a Line
February 3, 2016
So… I’ve had an absolutely shocking 24 hours… starting yesterday afternoon when I managed not to give in to comfort eating…but did get very stressed by work issues. I thought I was being wonderful when, instead of heading for the biscuits, I headed for an exercise DVD instead. By 8pm I was feeling fairly pleased with myself…
Then a friend turned up on doorstep in tears, with bottle of vodka and box of tissues in hand… (“boyfriend woes”). In my defence… I did have a couple of vodkas… but
- unearthed the long-lost “measure” (my friend looked at me like I was utterly bonkers) and made sure they were both 35ml;
- had a dash of no sugar vimto and lots of ice (in the past it would have been with “full fat Red Bull”…)
However… today at “the desk job”… I’ve had a shocker. Company merger means I’m at the receiving end of Everybody’s Flack… “Blame Her” seems to be the company default setting and the result is It’s been “Not Good” and somehow my firm resolve and good intentions were not so firm and not so good after all …
So now…3 Giant Choc-Chip Cookies later I’m wracked with guilt and very VERY angry that I let “work stress” make me default to “comfort eating” (which is entirely the reason why I have excess weight that I need to shed and exactly the habit I need to change).
I’m ‘fessing up here because…… I’m drawing a line under it. I need to get back the focus I had two days ago. I need to remind myself that Chocolate Chip Cookies do not solve problems in the office. I need to remember that when people are lashing out at me and I’m feeling defensive, chocolate cake is not a good shield… and in terms of a defence strategy it’s actually useless…
I know that this is a point in time and it will pass. The upheavals at “the day job” are short term. My goal weight is long term. It will be even “longer term” if I let everyday stresses get to me and resort to comfort eating. I know this. I also know that sensible choices; careful planning and staying focussed will work … as long as I make the effort to make it work.
I now have several options.
1. Quit (…which really isn’t an option)
2. Beat myself up endlessly about the last 24 hours and make myself feel miserable, guilt stricken and generally useless (which won’t do me any good at all)
3. Draw a line under the last 24 hours and resolve to focus, focus, focus…
I’m opting for No 3… knowing that this week, if the number on the scales causes me pain… it is self-inflicted pain. I only have myself to blame… but actually it’s been a wake up as well … it’s reminded me how easy it can be to “have a wobble”. Well… the wobbling stops here and now.
Hope you’ve all had great week and here’s to a fabulous weekend for us all!
With a hug
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